Only If There Was Cake
by AnamariaJovel
Summary: One-Shot: Takes place after Allegiant: Tris is gone, and Caleb, Christina and Four are attending her funeral. Four's feeling arise concerning her death, and Caleb's part in it. But he has to let go. Someone special tells him that...Please R


**A/N: Ok, so Divergent was such a great book I decided to take a chance at writing for it. (Spoilers for Allegiant, even though I haven't read it yet myself others ruined it for me :/) So we all know Four jokes with Tris saying that he'd only go to her funeral if there was cake. This is a One-Shot about Tris' actual funeral, and Four's experience.**

_**Four's POV**_

The ceremony isn't of good taste. In fact it's sadder than I expected. It's me, Celeb, and Christina. That's about it. I didn't want Evelyn here, I knew it would be wrong because of the way they felt about each other. Felt. Past tense. As in Tris can't feel anything anymore about my mother, because she is dead. Dead. I have to find some way to accept that. But I can't, not when Caleb was the one who should've gone for the serum, _not Tris_. I can barely look at him now, but I knew Tris would've wanted him here for her. _She _had forgiven him for his betrayal. I feel even worse just thinking about how Uriah couldn't be here for her too. Because he was dead. Because I killed him.

"Four, I brought you some cake. Dauntless cake," Christina said, sitting down next to me on the make-shift bench. Caleb was trying to sit as far away from me as physically possible. Tris' "casket" lay in front of us on a make-shift table. It wobbled on the dirt every few minutes. I took the cake and gave a small nod, I wasn't in the mood to talk. But I guess I really wasn't in the mood to eat either. I barely touched the cake. I didn't really need it to be here for her. I watched as Caleb got up and opened the casket, looking back at us before he finally decided to look inside at Tris. I decide maybe I should go up to the casket too, just to say one last goodbye before we bury her. Leaving the cake at my seat, I get up and meet Caleb at the casket. Without a word he leaves me there alone, and I notice he's crying when he sits back down. Turning away from him I look into the casket, and see Tris laying there in front of me. It's almost like she's sleeping, except I was the one who found her dead.

"Why did you leave me here alone, Tris?" I hear myself asking, slight anger in my tone that I hadn't expected to hear. No answer of course. I can't help thinking about our conversation about if she died.

"_Peter would probably throw a party if I stopped breathing." She said seriously._

"_Well," I started. "I would only go if there was cake." I joked, and she let out a small laugh._

It was right after Peter, Al, and Drew nearly threw her into the chasm because they were worried for their ranks in initiation. And now she really had stopped breathing, there was cake, but this was no party. It was only meant to be a joke, to help ease her pain. But now it just feels like something I never should have even thought about at all. Because now it was a sort of reality.

"Why didn't you let your brother go?" I said, somewhat selfishly. Just because I wanted him to be the one in this casket didn't mean Tris did. That was the whole reason she left in his place. Wasn't it?

"I should go sit down again, the cake is getting stale." I said flatly, walking away without a second glance. It hurt too much to look at her again. When I sat Christina got up, taking my place in front of the casket.

"It should've been me in that casket," I heard Caleb whisper beside me. I can't even look at him with any anger. He looks just like her. It doesn't matter that I agree, that won't change anything now.

"Look, Four…" Caleb whispered again, and out of the corner of my eye I saw him staring my way. "I'm sorry," He finished. I didn't answer, or even look his way.

_**Tobias, don't blame Caleb for this. This is on me. I chose to go for him.**_

It was Tris. Or at least I heard her voice. No, it was just me trying to cope. Maybe my conscience. That's what it was.

_**It's me Four…I think deep down you know that.**_

I heard it again. And the more I thought about her words the more I believed it was her. But that thought just evoked some of that anger within me.

_Why did you leave me here Tris?_

I thought. It took a minute for the reply.

_**You know why. I had to do the right thing for everyone.**_

_The right thing was letting Caleb go._

I said fiercely. I heard a sort of sigh deep in my thoughts. I think maybe I'd hurt her for wishing her brother dead. I was about to take to take it back when I heard her voice again.

_**You need to let me go, Tobias. I can't be at peace knowing you're hurting. I still love you, and I always will. We'll be together again soon, but you need to try to forgive Caleb and I. You need to try and let go. Please.**_

And with that her voice was gone from my mind, and I could no longer feel her warm presence. She was gone. All over again. I almost couldn't even make sense of her final words to me. Her final wish. She wanted me to let her death go? I just don't think I can do it. But…I have to. It's the one thing she asked of me. I have to try, for her.

"Caleb," I heard myself say. He faced me and I fought the urge to look away.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out, realizing I actually meant it. I was sorry for so many reasons. For one, I was selfish to think I was the only one who wanted Tris back. He is her brother. Caleb's eyes widened slightly. Christina was facing us from the casket. She must've heard me too.

"You lost Tris too. It was wrong of me to think I was the only one hurting. I'm sorry," I repeated. Caleb shook his head.

"It's my fault we lost Tris. I-" Caleb began but I stopped him.

"No, Tris chose this. And-and she was right to. She brought about a new world. She saved us all," I whispered that last part. I could feel the weight being lifted off my chest. Tris was right. She did do the right thing. I could feel it as I said it.

_I did it, I let go Tris. I love you. And I'll see you soon…_

_**I love you too Tobias Eaton.**_

**A/N: So what do you guys think? Should I write more for Divergent? Was it horribly bad? Please R&R! :D**


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